If only I could be so grossly incandescent
by Dogecake
Summary: Two soldiers from two very different countries are forced into a world where they have to work together to survive. Mature langauge. No kiddies allowed.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey! Fuck your mother!"

"Yeah? Up yours too, buddy!"

This went on for hours, every Saturday like clockwork, at the crossroads where the American territory ended, and the Russian began, here in the desolate land of Iraq. The Russians would scream at Americans, Britons, or other assorted NATO units in broken english, while Americans, Finns, and other assorted units would scream at Russian border guards in broken Russian. I swear to god, If it wouldn't start a world war, I would start shooting at Russian and NATO soldiers alike just to shut them up.

The NATO and Russian territory was defined by a huge imaginary line, across the middle of the country, each half being the part of the country the corresponding nation, and or alliance would "deal with". It was at that time, on December 20th, half a month after the joint efforts of NATO and Russia decided they were tired of The Middle Easts shit, and decided they would just take over the country, rebuild the government, and hope this time no Islamic group decided they were going to try shit again.

It was also in this moment, a soldier, more specifically one of the United States Army, 11b Infantry, sat at the border crossing with a grimace on his face that would scare children, realizing that he was not only not going home for Christmas, but that he was going to be stuck with guarding this border for most of this "campaign", if you could call it that. It was pretty much just slaughtering a bunch of cocky, arrogant Muslims who don't aim when they shoot. _This is fucking MP work_ I thought to myself. _Why do I have to be here, instead of patrolling, or maybe even fighting the fucking war?_ I sighed, and kept watching my fellow men insulting each other for sport.

**About two hours later, NATO-Russo border**

"Man Matt, I'm really fucking tired of this heat. I'm not sure how much more I can take"

I grunt and take a swig of water my canteen.

"Yeah, it's even fucking worse with those assholes screaming. I can't sleep when they do this shit. Even worse when they sprung that "yeah, we're taking the entire middle east now, not just killing ISIS. Get fucked nerds." Most of them were really hoping to get this shit done before Christmas and go home. Me too, actu-"

Our conversation is interrupted by the approach of an officer. We both stand up, and I greet him with a hello.

"At ease. Are you Matt Ryan?"

"Yes sir, I am."

"Good. You're actually being made use of, instead of sitting on this shitty border. Report to Barrack #2 and meet your new squad members, but don't get too comfortable. You're scheduled for patrol soon."  
>I looked over to my comrade still in the tower, and grin.<p>

And so it was. I got my wish granted. And I'm going on patrol soon. Maybe this dumb ass war won't be so bad.

* * *

><p>So this is my first attempt at a fanfiction. I decided to start with something "easy", like a Human in equestria story. so here you have it. I know it's short, but I promise it will get longer as I get into the "groove" of writing. Other amateur writers know what I'm talking about.<p>

**DEDICATED TO IAN, YOU BUTT LOVING NIGERIAN**


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't be any fucking more wrong. As it turned out, "Barrack #2" was the sort of "international" barrack where people of all the different countries were forced to work together. Even in the military they wanted to force multiculturism down our throats. bleh. What I also found out, which made me really reconsider my wish for a role with some combat, was the fact that this same platoon were lovingly nicknamed "Hellbringers", and not because they were just really badass guys, but because they were the platoon that were frequently forced to patrol and/or fight in the hottest combat zones in the entire mini continent. Join Infantry, they said. It will be fun, they said. Not a whole lot of the platoon members where particularly memerable, except for one of the exactly 5 Russians that were included in our platoon. And not the good memorable either. This son of a bitch was CUH RAAZZY. He currently sat on a kill count of 52(and a half) or so he claimed. He was called Alexiev Dmitry. The reason I mention him in particular, is because he would be handing ammo to me while I sat in the gunner seat of an armored car while we patrolled the western part of Iraq. Glorious. Soon after meeting my colleagues, we were called for patrols, as promised.

100 miles from Baghdad, near Najaf.

I leaned over the ballistic glass and steel cage that sat around the humvees turret, up at the mountain pass that sat in front of the convoy. _Not good. Not at all. I cam practically already feel the rockets slamming into the convoy._

"Alex! Hand me another box of M2 ammo, I feel real fuckin' bad about this valley pass"

"Yes, I do as well. Here"

I just barely finished hoisting up the box of heavy 12.7 onto a small ledge on my turrent when the first IED went off. The humvee in the very front of the convoy, 4 vehicles in front of me, was thrown forty feet into the air, the explosion itself sent dirt, concrete and other debris flying toward other vehicle, and showering us all in shockwave of the blast hit my Humvee and cracked the wind shield.

"Fuck! Alex, are you alright down there?"  
>"Da, it is looking like the rest of squad is kill though!"<p>

The entire convoy was stopped at this point.  
>Then what was most likely an RPG-7 rocket slammed into the side of my Humvee. Now, if you haven't seen an RPG rocket outside of video games, then you wouldn't understand what had just happened. The rocket travels at thousands of feet per second, usually packing huge explosive warheads generally straight towards the target. But this was unlike any warhead I had seen. I wasn't knocked over by the blast, or even killed by shrapnel. In fact, there was a curious green light spreading over the armored car, until it was completely covered. All he screaming that had started after the initial realization of what was happening was muted.<p>

"Matt? What the hell is happening?"

I looked down at the the Russian man and shook my head. I had a feeling that we would know soon.

* * *

><p>Aaaay Chapter 2. Still sort of short, sorry.<p> 


End file.
